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Does My Child Understand Me? Understanding Receptive Language Development

Writer: Irene Gutierrez
Irene Gutierrez
2 days ago
5 min read

“Come here.”

“Put your shoes on.”

“Go get your backpack.”


Sound familiar?


As parents, we give our children directions throughout the day. And when they don't follow them, it's easy to wonder:


“Does my child actually understand what I'm saying?”


Maybe they heard you but were busy playing. Maybe they need more time. Maybe the transition is difficult. Or maybe they really are having trouble understanding the words.


Here's something we talk about often at Brainstorm:


Understanding language is much more than following directions.

And not following a direction doesn't automatically mean a child doesn't understand.


Let's talk about what that looks like in everyday life.



First, What Is Receptive Language?

Receptive language is our ability to understand language that others communicate.

It includes understanding words, sentences, questions, concepts, and the meaning behind what people say.


For young children, receptive language development might look like:


  • Recognizing the names of familiar people or objects.

  • Understanding words such as more, stop, big, or under.

  • Understanding simple questions.

  • Connecting words with actions and experiences.

  • Understanding stories and conversations.

  • Following directions appropriate for their developmental level.


And here's an important detail: children can understand more than they are able to express.


But we also need to remember that what children do in familiar situations doesn't always tell us exactly how much language they understand.



1. Not Following Directions Doesn't Always Mean Not Understanding


Imagine you're enjoying your favorite activity, and someone suddenly says:


“Stop what you're doing. We need to leave.”


You probably wouldn't love that either.


Now imagine being a young child who is deeply engaged in play.


Sometimes children don't respond because they're focused on something else, need additional processing time, are overwhelmed, or simply don't want to stop.

That doesn't automatically mean there's a receptive language difficulty.


But it doesn't rule one out either.


Instead of repeating:


“Put your shoes on!”

“Shoes!”

“I said SHOES!”


Try getting closer, giving your child a moment, and offering support.


You might say:


“Shoes on. We're going outside.”


Then show the shoes or begin the routine together.


Understanding and cooperating are not the same skill.


We can support both without turning every interaction into a demand.


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2. Gestures, Visuals, and Routines Can Help


Think about how often we use more than words to communicate.


We point. We show. We demonstrate. We use facial expressions.


Children benefit from these supports too.


For example, instead of standing across the room and saying:

“Go wash your hands.”

Try walking toward the sink together, pointing to the soap, and saying:

“Time to wash hands!”


You can also use pictures, familiar objects, or visual schedules when they're helpful.


These supports can make language more accessible and help children participate in daily routines.


And no, using gestures or visuals doesn't mean you're giving your child too much help.

Support is not cheating.


One thing to remember, though: completing a familiar routine with visual cues doesn't necessarily mean a child understood every spoken word. That's why we look at comprehension in different situations.


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3. Look for Understanding During Real Life


Sometimes we're so focused on whether children can follow directions that we miss other opportunities to notice what they understand.


Think about everyday moments.


Does your child look for their favorite stuffed animal when someone mentions it?

Do they recognize familiar words during a story?

Can they identify objects or actions during play?

Do they understand words such as inside, empty, wet, or big in meaningful situations?


These observations give us valuable information.


But let's be careful not to turn every interaction into a test.


You don't need to spend the afternoon asking:


“Where's the dog?”

“Show me the ball.”

“What's this?”


Instead, enjoy the moment, use meaningful language, and notice how your child participates.


Everyday routines give us opportunities to support language, not just measure it.



What About Children Growing Up With Two Languages?


This is especially important to us at Brainstorm.


Imagine a child who hears Spanish at home and English at preschool.


They may understand certain words better in Spanish and others in English, depending on their experiences and exposure.


That doesn't automatically mean there's a language disorder.


When we're concerned about receptive language development in bilingual children, we need to look at their complete language experience.


What do they understand at home?

How do they respond in each language?

Which language do different family members use?

How much exposure have they had to each language?


A child who doesn't understand a direction in English may understand the same concept in Spanish.


That's why evaluating only one language can give us an incomplete picture.

Both languages matter. And neither should be treated as a problem.



When Should I Talk With a Speech-Language Pathologist?


Children develop at different rates, but persistent difficulties understanding language deserve attention.


Consider reaching out if your child frequently has difficulty understanding familiar words, questions, or age-appropriate directions, even when they're attentive and the situation is supportive.


Other concerns may include difficulty understanding language outside familiar routines or relying heavily on gestures and contextual clues to interpret what others say.


An SLP can look at receptive and expressive language together, consider the child's developmental and linguistic background, and determine whether additional support may be beneficial.


Hearing should also be considered when a child seems to have difficulty understanding spoken language.


You don't need to wait until a child is significantly struggling to ask questions.


If you have concerns about your child's understanding or communication, learn more about our pediatric speech-language therapy services.


The Big Takeaway


The next time your child doesn't follow a direction, try not to jump immediately to:


“They don't understand.”

Or:

“They're not listening.”


Take a moment to consider what else might be happening.


Maybe they need more time.

Maybe the language needs to be simpler.

Maybe visual support would help.

Maybe they're having a hard time with the transition.


And sometimes, yes, they may need additional support with language comprehension.


Our job is to remain curious, look at the whole child, and offer the support they need.


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☕ This week's Cafecito reminder: Understanding language is about much more than following directions.


At Brainstorm, we believe in supporting communication through connection, meaningful interactions, and respect for each child's individual way of learning.


Connection over compliance. Always.


Until next time!


Your Friendly Local Speech Therapist,


Irene Gutiérrez

Bilingual Speech and Language Pathologist

Founder, Brainstorm Speech Therapy


Looking for more practical ways to support your child's communication? Explore More Cafecito Tips for ideas you can use during everyday routines.


Have questions about your child's language development? Learn how to get started with Brainstorm.



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